So I made a master list of all the original stories I've posted that have at least a chapter for what ever unlucky person stumbles across my stories. I have a story on here that is from 2004 which is absolute shit. It amuses me with how emo and badly written it is. Why include it then? Because I like to pretend I've come a long way since I was fourteen.

( Complete )

( Work in Progress )
( Not Happening )

List of Names
Sim Resources

well, shit.

Went to our high school's slam poetry competition on they got Taylor Mali to be there and holy crap the man is fantastic! Check him out.

This story still needs a title, but here are the first four pages.

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( I'll be nice and cut )
People who would have made it but didn't because I got bored and didn't make a top 15.

11. Kevin Zegers
12. Johnny Depp
13. Gale Harold
14. Kenny Doughty
15. Christian Slater

I like this one a lot at the moment. I won't tomorrow, but for now, it's nice.

Happy Endings and All
Word Count: 8159
Summary: Tristan's life has always been about pleasing his mother and brother. He is alright with that, but things change when a fairy makes it so that every time he speaks fine gems and flowers come out of his mouth.

( Part Two )

Happy Endings and All
Word Count: 6719
Summary: Tristan's life has always been about pleasing his mother and brother. He is alright with that, but things change when a fairy makes it so that every time he speaks fine gems and flowers come out of his mouth.
( Part One )

And for your birthday have James Dean.




Or something shiny and undeadliving if you'd prefer.


Or maybe something a little older.



Or something possibly female.


Or completely unrelated


HAPPY 20th!

That One French Fairy Tale No One Knows (Title Pending)
Genre: Humor, Romance
Rating: Pg for now may or may not go up to R
Summary: Tristan's mother hated him, but that was okay because in Happily Ever After mothers weren't known for their affection.
Note: This is for the Freak of Spade Challenge over on Fictionpress. Its a rewrite of "Les Fees" by Charles Perrault. It's also Slash but I doubt I need to say that.

( Il était une fois une veuve qui avait deux fils )

Download Here

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( Some Headers and Wallpapers )

PS. Happy Birthday Julia

I've only read 21 I kind of suck.

Apparently "The Big Read" assumes that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien I've read these books so many times.

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible (not really my scene...)

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell Sean still has my book!

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
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This describes my writing perfectly when I was writing Panic and simple plan fan fiction-- hopefully only then.
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How to Write Slash Like A Little Girl

-=Preparation=-

Design one character

Make him the utterly cutest guy ever. Spend hours on his appearance, designing his hairstyle, eye color, and clothing style, drawing him with colored pencils on the back of your notebook. You don't have to develop a personality for him. Just use yours. Don't worry about coming up with his motivation, either; his goal is to achieve True Love, obviously.

Your best friend will design the other character. Make sure they don't have the same hair color.

Gay boys are shy and conflicted

You know this because you're shy and conflicted, and what are gay boys but little girls with extra treasure in their pants, right? Low self-esteem is a must; your character's self-loathing and your best friend's character's praise and adoration can keep the story going for dozens of chapters as long as your character never starts to believe what he hears.

Names are crucial

Make sure your character has a name that sounds lovely when crooned in the throes of passion. You're not sure what throes of passion sound like, but they're probably lyrical. Try to make the name unique and special, too, so that when you're super popular and famous you can Google it and find secret caches of fanart that your adoring fans were too shy to show you.

Arpee!

Now you and your best friend can take your characters out for a test drive. The point of the excercise is to elicit wibbles and aww's from your friend and create a warm feeling in your nethers. Careful, though! You might accidentally come up with an interesting plot, and those are hard work.

-=Writing=-

Just write!

Drawing on your notebook and RP with your friend counts as preparation. Now you better start writing really fast before you lose your nerve. If you take the time to outline a plot or design settings or other characters, the mood might wear off!

Song lyrics

You can bond with your readership by including lots of song lyrics. Any time the characters are listening to music, be sure to give the song title and who it's by. For extra credit, look up the lyrics and post them entire, then describe how they make the character feel.

The character is, of course, listening to the same music you are, and how he feels is how you feel.

Descriptions

It's important to describe things so the readers can visualize them. The two most crucial things to describe are: 1. attractive people's appearances, and 2. what they're wearing. Be sure you don't leave out a single freckle or accessory. Beautiful locations should also be described in vivid detail, so the reader can get alongside your design vision. Cute things like children or pets can be described or not at your discretion.

Don't describe anything boring or ugly. The reader doesn't want to see that.

NPC's

You have to think up names for them, but that's about it. Other than that you can just copy stock characters from anime. No one will know the difference.

Use big words

It doesn't matter if you don't know what they mean. If they sound about right, throw them in wherever. It makes you sound smart. You can also make up new, bigger versions of existing words. If 'disoriented' is good, 'disorientated' is better!

Tell, don't show

Sure, they say it's the other way around, but you know the secret truth: making characters actually play out their conflicts and motivations in the course of action just takes waaaaaay too long. You might lose readers who get bored waiting for the snuggles. Just describe the character's personality and situation in a paragraph or two and get it out of the way.

If they ever act out of character later, just call it a strange feeling. Use this template: "He was usually so [X], but for some strange reason he felt [Y]."

Plot is an illusion

You do need a plot idea, but don't worry about actually following through. All the plot has to do is make it harder for the boys to get together for a while. Once they've declared their love, you can just brush off the rest of it.

Sexxors

Sex is a crucial part of the slash story. It's what everyone is waiting for. You can't just throw it in any old way, though. You don't want people thinking your adorable character is a slut! Fortunately, you'll be fine if you follow one simple rule: no consensual sex without a declaration of love. Once love is declared, sex comes next. Missionary position, of course. There's nothing romantic about blowjobs.

Feel free to write plenty of non-consensual sex before that point, though; everyone knows that being sexually abused makes a boy soft and cuddly, not hard and bitter. Think of rape as meat tenderizer for ukes.

Author's Notes

Reply individually to every review you get. Don't worry about whether it interrupts the flow of the story; it's far more important to make sure your reviewers know you love and value them. Otherwise they might stop making that review number go up and up, and that number is your score.

-=The Payoff=-

Attention

This is the whole point. Why else would you write? To practice the art and craft of storytelling? That's silly. You need to be the one with the most cake. To increase your review count, you can sometimes entice chatty people to hold entire conversations in the reviews.

Fanart

Even better than reviews. Be sure to showcase it in your profile.

Fanfic

Ultra win! Pimp it like it's your baby sister. The best fanfic of all is crossover fanfic, because then you can tap the other writer's attention-pool, increasing both your scores. One caution: in the rare case that someone writes a thoughtful or challenging exploration of your characters or setting, be sure your appreciation is lukewarm and generic. You don't want to encourage that kind of thing!

Internet Fame

This is your ultimate goal. This is what it's all for. The Olympic gold medal of online fic. When people shift their attention from your story to you, when they start talking about what you say and what you like, you have won the game.

You can keep this stage going as long as you like, even if you don't write much more than the occasional teaser. Nice as it sounds to keep it up forever, though, for some reason the winners of this game seem to lose interest in their victory around the time they achieve gainful meatworld employment. Scientists theorize that toxic 'paycheck radiation' is to blame.

-=Appendix 1: How To Write Slash Like a Little Boy=-

Because little boys are simple creatures, this section can be presented in the form of a bullet list.

* Main character is a badass who kills people.

* Sex happens. Whenever, wherever, whoever. Make sure it's kind of awkward and gross, because that little dash of realism makes things happen in your pants.

* Plot is when people die or buildings burn down. Cars are sub-plots.

* Describe weapons, dead bodies, and sex. For extra credit, describe ninjutsu. Cars don't need descriptions; just give the make and model.

* Keep the love interest mostly off camera. Making him the enemy is a handy way to do this.

* When you're ready to stop, kill either the love interest or the narrator.

- Combo bonus: the narrator kills the love interest.

- Double combo bonus: the love interest kills the narrator, preferably mid-sentence.

- Triple combo bonus: Narrator kills love interest, then dies in a way that renders all his previous actions futile. Careful, though! Guys going for the triple combo can end up writing literature, which ends the game.

* The payoff is the big bloody finish, so keep your stories short and nasty for maximum kill count.

* Ignore reviews. If you cared what girls think, you wouldn't be writing about assfucking in the first place.

How To Write Slash Like a Kid by Jumping Jack Flash

Title: In Between(er)
Chapter Three: In Between Party and Social Failure
Summary: Julien liked putting Post-it notes on people’s lockers, Nikko liked looking at himself in the mirror, Francois liked pissing Julien off and Chris is just stuck in the middle.(SLASH)
Word Count: 6387
Rating: R

( Read more... )

Sarah Harik
Dr. Zucker
English 1A
16 January 2009
Thoreau’s Bean-Field
To survive in any environment a person needs to work. Many people use the work that needs to be done as a drawn out excuse to not do anything in their lives. In the process they manage to thoroughly destroy what is around him. In the chapter, The Bean Field, Thoreau discusses the many different ways people do so while he works on his field. Thoreau uses his work on the farm to better himself by teaching himself discipline. As Thoreau works, people start to take notice of his unconventional ways of farming. He searches for no help outside of nature. Thoreau does this because he wants to express a form of self-reliance. He also wants to leave his field looking wild. He describes it as “half-civilized” and “half-cultivated” to show the value of wild crops. He later continues to comment of the Native Americans that once lived on his land. He tells his readers about the sounds and sights he experiences while working. He also continues on to talk about people who spend far too much time making money wasting the time they should be spending on improving their virtues.
Thoreau relies on the fertility and water in nature to nourish his beans. There is not much natural fertilizer left, but he still does not accept the help that comes from fertilizer that is not already part of the earth. Thoreau himself feels as a disturbance to the Earth, so he wants to introduce anything that is not already there. He is uncomfortable with how much beans he ends up producing, and come the next year, he only plants half an acre. Thoreau never works in the field with the ambition of making money, but it does not stop him from doing well. To take care of his beans, Thoreau wages a poetic war against the weeds, comparing them to the Trojans caught in epic battle. To Thoreau the weeds are the enemy with everything one their side like sun, rain, and dew. He states that he, with his hoe, is the defender of the beans against a strong enemy, even going as far as “filling up the trenches with weedy dead (129).” Through his strong fight against the weeds, he finds him self up against Hector, the strong warrior that won’t back down. Thoreau is glad as he watches him fall with dignity to the sword of a stronger man.
Thoreau finds great distraction while working in the outdoors. He pauses amidst his work to relish in his entertaining environment—the sights and sounds of nature. His obvious love for nature and attention to detail most take for granted lead him to finding signs of those who came before him. He finds signs of the Native Americans who once lived on his land in pieces of pottery and arrowheads. Thoreau’s share of the same philosophy of simplicity and dislike for waste connect him to the natives. To Thoreau’s dismay, his peaceful days amongst the past that only nature can present him with are often interrupted by the distinct sounds of war. He cannot ignore the noises of guns being fired as the military trains that are coming from a distance. He considers the sounds a “disease in the horizon”. He continues on to compare the townspeople to bees who follow the noise because it was calling them home. This is Thoreau’s poetic—albeit sarcastic—way of calling both the villages and the war foolish. Thoreau does not go into great detail about the Mexican-American War, but he does sardonically state his dislike for the war by saying “felt as if I could spit a Mexican with a good relish.”(129)
Thoreau is not planting for the money, but he does end up with a profit of eight dollar. The next season, he decides that he does not want to plant as much as he did before. His decision is to allow him time to use for self-improvement, though he does later say that he failed in his attempt. Thoreau says the problem with society is too much time spent on the field and not enough on virtue. He feels that people work too much and mostly for nothing, despite how much their monetary income really is. He believes that farming is a sacred art, and he is disappointed to find that people no longer feel that way. People are no longer planting for food but for the need to have larger farms and larger profits. He misses the festivals that the Romans once organized in celebration and respect for the sacred act.
Among Thoreau’s wishes to improve himself and constant distractions while working, he delves into political issues and social issues. The “Bean-Field” is more than just knowledge about how Thoreau fed himself, both physically and mentally. It is about the Mexican War, about the Trojan War, and about the war between what a man needs to learn and the work he does to keep himself from learning. He discuses issues that were often avoided in his time, and relates them to epic Roman heroes.







Work Cited
Thoreau, Henry David. Walden and Civil Disobedience. 1854. New York: New American Library. 1999.

The Battle for the Holy Land and the War for Power
In attempt to further understand the problems the currently reside in the Middle East, this paper delves into the Arab-Israeli conflict. Both the religious aspects that began the war and the political reasons it continues today will be discussed. In attempt of better understanding why, there will be historical references as well as current events. The current problems have been going on for the better part of a century with no resolution in site. What exactly is the problem now? In the beginning, with the crusades, it was a religious battle, but now with the attempt of futile attempt to remove religion from our politics it has become nothing more than just a political struggle for power. Both sides are fighting a losing battle that began early in the 11th century and still rages on today. Is an end to the conflict even a possibility anymore, or has it become a natural occurrence? Is the Arab-Israeli conflict just a continuation of the Christians’ war for the holy land?
In a look at the history of the holy war, I will find information from both the Christian side and Muslim opinion on the Crusades in Christian Jihad : Two Former Muslims Look at the Crusades and Killing in the Name of Christ. As the title may suggest, this book is written by two professors who have converted into Christianity and their views of the war for God. It goes on to discuss the new reason for war that Pope Urban II launched when he asked to fight God’s war. This book shows the unpleasant side to the Christian Crusade while comparing Pope Urban II to today’s Muslim terrorists. It explains that Jihad is not just something that Muslims use, but also something Christians have used in the past. Holy War : The Crusades and Their Impact on Today's World by Karen Armstrong explains the Crusades and the reasons for them. It also talks about how the Crusades have contributed to today’s conflict.

Works Cited
Armstrong, Karen. Holy War : The Crusades and Their Impact on Today's World.

Caner, Ergun Mehmet. Christian Jihad : Two Former Muslims Look at the Crusades and Killing in the Name of Christ. Grand Rapids, MI : Kregel Publications, 2004